Instilling Confidence In Your Baby

Watch your verbal and non verbal communications with your baby. Listen to them when they communicate with you. For example, babies use crying to communicate.  Generally a baby will only cry when he needs something i.e. nappy to be changed, he is hungry or he is scared and wants a cuddle. 

A baby who is held and cuddled will grow more secure knowing he is valued and loved.  That is why I hate a parenting trend that developed a few years ago which suggested that babies should be left to cry. In my opinion this is very cruel and potentially damaging to the child.  How can a baby trust his parents if they ignore him when he needs them most?

Despite not being able to talk in a language we comprehend, babies probably understand more than you can imagine.  Infants and small children are like sponges – they soak up everything we say and do.  It is important that you speak to your baby encouraging them to mimic you and the noises he hears around him.  Sing to him – most babies love singing and they don’t mind if you are tone deaf!

Baby massage is wonderful for generating a close bond between parents and child.  But massage also instills confidence in an infant.  The gentle touch causes his body to release feel good hormones and make him feel safe.

In the early years especially, a child views his parents as his whole universe.  He wants to keep mummy and daddy happy.  He basks in your love and attention.  He expects to get your approval when he tries new things.  All babies will try things at different times.   Depending on his learning style, some things will come easy to him whilst others will take a little longer to master.  By all means encourage him to explore his boundaries but do it in a relaxed way.

If mum is pushing him to do something that he is not yet ready for, he will sense her disappointment in him and that will knock his confidence thus starting a cycle which may delay mum getting her way.  Just because you don’t voice your frustration out loud doesn’t mean that your child hasn’t picked up on the non verbal signal. Infants are wired to pick up on the non verbal signals possibly more than the verbal ones.

It doesn’t matter if Mary down the road has been potty trained since she was 6 months old.  Your child isn’t Mary and will develop at his own pace.  Those parents who constantly push their children to walk early, talk early etc set them up for a life of disappointment as they constantly battle to overcome silly tests set by other people.

If on the other hand, mum is confident that junior will be potty trained, walking and talking by the time he goes to school, Junior will feel loved and accepted which will increase his self worth.  It may also make him achieve things quicker and easier as he will have the confidence to experiment knowing that no matter what he is loved!

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you have to amuse your baby all day.  That will only exhaust both of you.  Babies need to learn to spend quality time on their own just as older children need to learn to amuse themselves.  You cannot love yourself and be confident in who you are if you have never got to know yourself.  So let baby spend some time in his cot or playpen with a couple of favourite toys.  If you listen carefully, you could just hear him having a great chat with his new friends.