Confident Toddlers

The baby phase passes so quickly – you should try and enjoy as much of it as possible as once a child has grown you cannot recapture this magical time. 

Leaving babyhood behind your child becomes a toddler.  How do you know when your baby has become a toddler?  There is no specific age but believe me you will know when it happens.    The defining moment for me is when you realise that the baby who did everything you said now wants to put his own mark on the day.

When you have a toddler, take some time out to sit down and play with him every day.  Get down onto the floor at his level and spend quality time with him.   He will love the attention and he won’t be a toddler for very long.  Also by putting yourself on his level, you can see potentially dangerous hazards that you may not have noticed from your taller viewpoint!   

Children learn from play – it is very important to give them as much opportunity and encouragement to let their imaginations run wild.  Feed their inner belief that they can do or achieve anything they want to in life. Give them paint and messy stuff to play with and see what they get up to. 

When buying them toys, don’t opt for the most expensive item – you will only please the marketing company behind it!  Kids have no real conception of money and they are likely to get a lot more long term enjoyment out of the box that the toy came in rather than the figure from the latest movie.

Also buy age appropriate toys – you won’t inspire your child to become the next Albert Einstein by giving him a chemistry set when he is 2.  Again, don’t push your child too fast or too quickly.  Let him enjoy his toddlerhood as school is just around the corner. 

It is very important that both parents support and agree with each other on how to raise a child.  If one parent says that something should be done a certain way, the other parent must back them up.  If they disagree, then have a chat about it later in private.  But always try to present a united front when it comes to parenting and discipline.

Toddlers learn very quickly how to play mummy against daddy and this will only lead to heartache and frustration for all concerned.  Show your child that both of his parents love him and hopefully each other.  People who show each other mutual respect and appreciation are good role models for your child to adopt.

Remember to praise your toddler but try not to link it to behaviour all the time.  A confident child is born when his parents praise him for his beautiful smile or fantastic laugh and not just for his ability to use the potty!

It is crucial that both parents to establish an individual relationship with their child.  Children need mummy and daddy.  Some mums find it difficult not to hover around when dad is looking after THEIR baby.  But whilst a lot of dads won’t be the best at nappy changing or other baby related tasks, the safety of their kids is very important to them.   Boys in particular learn from their dads.   In this day of long working hours, a lot of dads don’t see their kids during the week.  Make time at the weekends to develop that special bond with your kids.

If mum also works full time, try to make an arrangement with your employer so that you can be at home before your toddler goes to bed.    Making dinner or doing the housework can wait.  Spend some quality time with your toddler, read him a story whilst giving him loads of cuddles.  This way you are reinforcing the message that he is a very special person who is loved and treasured. 

A lot of working mums spend the weekend sorting out the house, doing the shopping and getting ready for the next week.  All of this has to be done but your priority should be spending time getting to know your children.  Shop online and have the groceries delivered rather than dragging your toddler to the shops on a Saturday. 

If you are lucky to be in a two parent family, arrange family outings.   These do not need to be expensive.  Toddlers love exploring in parks and feeding the ducks and swans. 

Try and give them freedom in the playground.  Encourage them to be adventurous and to try out new things.  If you go to any play centre you are likely to hear mothers telling their kids to be careful or they will get hurt.  Don’t go too high, too fast, too slow etc.  These mothers mean well – they are trying to prevent their child sustaining an injury.  But kids need to run free sometimes.  I am not suggesting that you let them play in traffic but in the safety of a play centre, you might want to curb your own fears and let them get on with it.  Sure, they may fall and hurt themselves but generally it will be very minor and completely forgotten as they excitedly tell you they went the highest, fastest etc.

We need to accept that bruises, minor broken bones and other injuries are part of childhood.    As a mum you will spend time in the hospital – great leaders such as Nelson Mandela were not kept tied to their mothers apron strings.  Within reason, you need to encourage risk taking.  Taking calculated risks and winning will instill confidence in your child and motivate them to believe that if they try hard enough just about anything is possible.

Finally remember that babies who grow into toddlers for a reason.  Most toddlers will severely test their parents patience at some point.  There is a reason why the “ terrible two’s” are called that name.  There will be days when all of us will lose our tempers and say something that we shouldn’t to our young children.  Don’t obsess over this – as long as it doesn’t become a pattern it won’t stop your child being confident.  Just apologise and move on.  You are showing your toddler that mummy or daddy can make mistakes too and that they are also human beings!